Worth Waiting For
by FTB
Summary: Lewis/Hathaway. Hathaway has been shot. As he lays there thinking he's dying he says something to Lewis... Some minor swearing.. *Chapters 8 & 9 added*
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note** - this is my first fic, please be nice. If you like it let me know and I'll add more of the story

**Summary** - Lewis/Hathaway. Hathaway has been shot. As he lays there thinking he's dying he say something to Lewis...

**Disclaimer: **The characters of Lewis do not belong to me. I make no money from this. Reviews would be appreciated.

**Chapter One**

They shouldn't have been in this situation. So many things were wrong. They should have called for back-up sooner. Hathaway could hear the sirens of his colleagues getting closer but they wouldn't be here for another couple of minutes at least. He looked into the boy's eyes, willing him with his mind to let go of his Father's hand and walk towards him. The boy looked frightened and torn. Looking up to his father he seemed to be begging for reassurance but his dad was shouting and waving a gun at other policeman.

"Harry, put the gun down" Lewis said in a low calm voice "We'll talk about it. I'll keep everyone back. I promise. Just let your lad walk away with my sergeant."

"Jack stays with me. I'm his dad!" Harry replied. He too could hear the sirens getting closer, much closer now. Lewis knew that any moment now they'd approach and see his car, the doors flung open and up ahead, under a tree beyond the playground, the four of them.

The situation was so tense. Jack was so confused. He didn't want to leave his dad but he was frightened. He clung harder to his father's sweaty hand. Harry was just as confused and frightened as his son. He thought they would be able to make their getaway. He didn't want to use the gun. He wanted to keep his son. He had to get out of this. He had to get _them _out of this. He didn't know where to look. The policeman was still talking to him but he's stopped listening. Then out of the corner of his eye there was movement.

Hathaway didn't hear what was said. If anything was said. He just saw the boy start to run, he saw Harry point the gun at Jack and he grabbed the boy's T-shirt and pulled him across his body and dropped him to the ground just as the gun went off. Jack looked so terrified that at first Hathaway thought the boy had been hit. Then he tasted it. Like metal, it was adrenaline, he knew that. It was him. He'd taken the bullet.

Lewis had wrestled the gun away from Harry as Hathaway slumped to the ground. The first two responding officers of the back-up they'd called were only feet away sprinting towards them.

"Get the boy!" Lewis shouted to them "I need one of you to cuff him."

As soon as he could Lewis knelt beside Hathaway. He put the gun down and took off his jacket off to put pressure on the wound. Hathaway was breathing heavily and blood was pouring out of him.

"Sir?" Hathaway said weakly.

"I'm here" Lewis replied. More officers were arriving. One called to Lewis to say an ambulance was on its way. Lewis nodded and looked down at Hathaway "C'mon James. You're going to be alright. Did you hear, the ambulance is on its way already."

"It doesn't hurt." said Hathaway said. His boss looked so panicked and he was trying to comfort him.

"I don't bloody care if it hurts more than giving birth to an elephant as long as you hold on" Lewis said.

"I don't think I can" this time Hathaway's voice was even weaker. Lewis looked up to see the paramedics rushing towards them.

"Don't say that. They're here. I can see them" Lewis pleaded.

"I love you" It was barely a whisper but Lewis heard him say it just before James' eyes closed.

"No James! Wake up.. Wake up Jim!" Lewis begged. He felt someone pull him to his feet and away from Hathaway. It was one of the uniformed officers.

"Sir, let them do their job. It'll be okay" Lewis didn't believe what he said any more than he did when he said something similar to Hathaway moments earlier. "Do you want us to drive you to the hospital?"

"Please" was all Lewis could say.

…............

Lewis only got a glance of Hathaway when he arrived at the hospital. He was surrounded by medical personnel who were wheeling him into a lift on his way to surgery.

"How is he? Is he going to be alright?" Lewis asked one of the nurses on her way back from the lift.

"If you go upstairs someone will be able to give you more information when he's out of surgery" she replied. The response was so unhelpful he wanted to get angry and shout at her but he didn't. He knew it wasn't her fault. It was her way of saying that she didn't know.

He headed straight for the stairs to go upstairs. As he opened the door he heard his name being called.

"Robbie" It was Dr Laura Hobson "I've just heard. What's going on?"

"I don't know. They've just taken him to surgery now" Lewis looked at his friend and he could feel the panic growing inside him "I think he might die."

…..............

They sat in the family room waiting for news and drinking awful coffee from a machine in the corner of the room. After an hour or so they were joined by Supt. Jean Innocent.

"Any news?" she asked and sat down next to Laura. Laura shook he head. Lewis just stared at the floor. The front of his shirt was covered in blood. Despite the heat in the hospital he felt a little cold. He wondered where his jacket was. It had his house keys and his warrant card in it.

"_Why am I thinking about my sodding house keys at time like this" he thought._

He looked at his shirt and ran his fingers over the material. The blood was almost dry. For the first time he saw his hands. Blood had dried under his fingernails. James' blood. He'd have to scrub to get it all out.

"Robbie" it was Laura "Jean was talking to you."

"Sorry, I was just thinking about something." he said "Was there something you needed, Ma'am?

" I was just letting you know that the boy, Jack, he's fine. Social Services have taken him until his grandparents can get to Oxford." Innocent replied "I called Hathaway's father. In his file there was just a number with no name for an emergency contact. It was only during the call that I find out I was talking to his dad. Do you know if they've fallen out or something?"

" I didn't know his parents were still alive. He doesn't talk about that sort of thing. We don't talk about stuff that's y'know, personal or private. Not much anyway, we both find it awkward, I think. I don't think we really know an awful lot about one another. It's strange, after all this time and yet he's my best friend. God, I've never told him that and now I might not get a chance."

"Don't think like that that Robbie" Laura said quietly.

Tears welled up in his eyes but he held the lump in his throat. He didn't want to cry here. Not with other people around. He had to remind himself that Hathaway was still alive. It was the sitting around waiting that was getting to him. Just like with Val but just because it felt the same didn't mean the outcome would be as well.

….................

It was four hours and forty three minutes later when the surgeon came to talk to them. Lewis knew exactly how long because he felt like he'd waited for every second tick by. The surgeon talked manly to Laura because he knew her. Hathaway was alive. To Lewis that was all that mattered. He knew Laura could ask questions and translate all the doctor-speak to him later.

"Can I see him?" Lewis asked when the two doctors had finished talking.

"As I was saying, he's unconscious for now and we're going to keep him sedated for a few days. We've stopped the bleeding but there was a fair bit of damage. It's up to him now. His body needs to try and heal itself. He's not out of the woods yet" the doctor was seemed to know that Lewis hadn't been listening "Just one visitor at a time. The nurses need access so we can monitor him closely. Are you family?"

"He's my sergeant" Lewis said as if this qualified him as kin.

"His father is on his way. He'll be here any minute." Innocent added "You go in Robbie."

The surgeon pointed him in the direction of Hathaway's room. At first Lewis just stood at the foot of the bed watching the machines as if they weren't connected to Hathaway. It was only when he sat down that the reality of it all hit him. He reached with his right hand to touch Hathaway's and covered his own face with his left as finally he let a few tears fall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Lewis had spent a few minutes with Hathaway, talking to him softly, telling him to be strong and to fight to hang on. He wiped his tears away with his blood-strained sleeve. He'd found his jacket in a green plastic bag with the hospital's logo on it at the side of the bed. His keys and warrant card were still in the inside pocket so at least he didn't have to worry about replacing them. He just hoped somebody had driven his car back to the station for him.

"Are you Inspector Lewis?" Lewis looked round to see a man standing in the doorway. He could see straightaway that it was Hathaway's father. The resemblance was remarkable.

"Yes" Lewis replied "Are you James' father?"

"Yes, I am, and if my son gets through this I'll be putting a stop to all this Police nonsense. Look where it's got him. Look where _you've_ got him. Out! I don't want you or any of your lot any where near him."

for a moment Lewis was stunned. He stood up and picket up his jacket. He wanted to argue his case. Explain his right to be here. How he wanted to be here when James woke up but the words wouldn't come and he left. Outside the room Laura was waiting for him. He glanced back to see Hathaway's father sat in his seat. Laura linked her arm with his and lead him away.

"C'mon then, I'll drive you home, get you something to eat." she said

"I'm not hungry" he said "I feel terrible leaving him."

"I know, I know."

…...................

From the moment he arrived home Laura seemed to take over. She made him some soup. It was the only thing in the kitchen that wasn't a ready meal or chocolate. She wanted to have a go at him for having and entire cupboard of Mars bars and biscuits but this wasn't really the time. Lewis checked his answer phone messages. It was mainly local journalists wanting information on what happened but there was one from his daughter asking how he was, she'd seen the news and was worried. He made a note to himself to call her back at some point.

"Tea or coffee?" Laura asked.

"Brandy. Lots of" he replied and Laura shook her head.

"Not tonight. Innocent asked me to keep an eye on you, which I was going to do anyway, and make sure you're in a fit state to go in and write your statement in the morning."

"I'd forgotten all about that." he said. Laura held up the kettle "Tea please. I wish his dad hadn't done that."

"Graham, his surgeon, is a friend. I'll call him to get updates. I might even get in to see him. I'm not police, am I? And I asked the nurses to call you if there was any change. They're not supposed to but I had a word."

"Thanks. It always helps having someone working on the inside." Lewis said "Just, I'd prefer it if I could see him myself."

"Yeah. Do you reckon James has fallen out with his dad? Could be over him joining the police or leaving the priesthood."

"Nothing's worth falling out with your son. Things were difficult after Val died with my lad but we got through it." Lewis said and looked up at the family picture next to the television. "I don't even know if his mam is still alive. Hathaways's never mentioned brothers or sisters either."

"I suppose this has all reminded you of what happened to Val."

"Yeah. It's the waiting and seeing all those machines hooked up to someone I care about. There was no hope with Val though. There's hope this time, isn't there?"

"Yeah, there is"

"That night with Val. It was the last time I prayed. Not for her, I knew she was gone. I prayed for me, for strength, just anything to get me through it and I got nothing. Five years later I come home to work with a man who trained to be a priest. You could call that divine intervention, I suppose. There's a part of me that wants to pray for him, that he'd want someone praying for him right now but..."

"You still don't believe" she said.

"I can't. I just don't have the faith."

"No one really told me what happened. How James got shot. If you're not up to talking about, that's fine" she said.

"I haven't really got it all straight in my head just yet. I keep thinking about what happened after. Watching him fall and what he said to me." Lewis paused and look straight at Laura "He thought he was dying."

"How do you know?"

"He told me it didn't hurt, that he he wasn't sure he could hold on and he said something" Lewis paused again but this time he looked away "Something I don't think he would've told me unless he... I don't know, didn't have to live with the consequences."

"A big secret? The key to unlocking the whole Hathaway enigma?"

"I can't tell you. I wasn't supposed to know."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Laura drove him to work the next morning and he was pleased to see his car was park in his usual spot. The desk sergeant handed him his car keys when he walked in the building. The walk to his office was torture. Everyone avoided eye contact and talk in hushed voices. He felt like he was on show. Innocent was waiting for him in his office.

"Morning Ma'am" he said and sat down in his chair. He reached under his desk to turn his computer on.

"You can shove off after you've done your statement." she said.

"I'd rather stay here with everyone gawping at me than be at home with daytime TV."

"Any news on Hathaway?" she asked.

"Doc Hobson's going to call me in bit. She's going to talk to her mate, the surgeon who spoke to us last night."

"Call my office as soon as you hear anything. I'll let my secretary know to put any call from you straight through. I'm in meetings all day. The press want a statement and the Chief Constable wants to know how one of his officers got shot and he wants to do a press conference outside the hospital."

"You're better off doing it here. I doubt Hathaway's dad will be up for photo-ops." he said.

"I know. I got a bit of a mouthful before he got to you. Are you going to try talking to him? Maybe he'll let you in to see James."

"I leave it for now. I don't really know how to approach it and I'm not sure Jim would appreciate me wading into his family life anyway."

"How are you holding up?" she asked.

"I'll be alright. I'll do my statement, go through my emails and drink too much coffee. Get through the day somehow." he replied.

"Go home if you need to, please, Robbie." she said and Lewis nodded "I'll keep your door closed and make sure the others know not to bother you."

"Thanks" he said and he managed a smile as she left.

….................

It was mid morning when Laura called. There was no change but she said that was good news. Being in a stable condition was good news. Lewis typed up his statement, signed it and sent it off. Then he went through his emails, deleting the vast majority of them. After that he skimmed through the wad of memo's and reports in his in-tray. Normally this was a job he passed on to his sergeant and Hathaway would give him the edited highlights. It was just the usual boring efficiency targets and procedural crap that he had little interest in and cared about even less but it made him think of all those little things Hathaway did for him.

He looked at his watch. It was just after lunchtime. He hadn't considered leaving the office this early but one of the others had popped their head round the door to let him know that the Chief Constable might be coming down to seem him for a chat. Lewis wasn't in the mood for whatever the CC might want and took the opportunity to leave.

He went for drive instead. He thought it might clear his mind. He knew where he would end up but he wasn't ready to go there just yet so he kept driving. It was nearly dark when he parked up. It didn't matter he knew this place like the back of his hand. He stood over the grave, jammed his hands in his pockets and sighed.

"Hello pet" he said as if he'd just walked in the house and she was there standing in the kitchen ready to put the kettle on. "Sorry for not visiting for awhile. Maybe it's because I don't need to be here as much but I just need someone to talk to"

He spent nearly an hour, standing there talking to his late wife. He told her what had happened the to Hathaway, how the kids were getting on, all sorts of things. He talked until he ran out of things to say.

"I better push off now. Cheerio love." he and his kissed the top of his fingers and tapped the top of her gravestone. "I'll pop back soon. Let you know what happens"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Tiredness was really starting to kick in when he arrived home. He hadn't eaten all day but nothing he had in appealed to him. He couldn't be bothered to order in a take-away either so he got a glass from one of the kitchen cupboards and poured himself a brandy instead.

He sat down on the couch and looked at James coat draped over the back of the armchair. He'd brought it in after finding it on the back seat of his car. He took a sip of his drink, got up and picked it up. He checked the pockets. He found an unopened packet of cigarettes, Hathaway's keys and his I-pod. He took a sniff of the coat. It smelled of Hathaway. An odd mix of nicotine and what was either aftershave or expensive soap. Lewis guessed soap. He didn't know why but it seemed to him that it was more likely that Hathaway was the sort of man that bought expensive soap.

That was what Hathaway was most of the time, a guessing game. He answered so few questions about himself (and if he did, the reply was more often than not a cryptic one that didn't really answer the question) that Lewis had stopped asking. He knew he was know different though. Hathaway rarely asked him anything either. He placed the coat back on the armchair and sat down again. He took another sip of his drink and cradled the glass in his hand.

"Why did you have to say that, James?" he said out loud "Now you've gone and made things ten times more awkward than they were already."

It startled him when the phone rang. He decided to let it ring. The ringing soon stopped and then he heard the recording of his own voice on the answer-phone.

"You've reached Robert Lewis. I'm not available at the moment. Please leave a message."

*BEEP*

"Hi Dad, it's me again." It was his daughter. He'd forgotten to call her back and she was probably worried. He considered taking the call but he didn't want to have to go through everything again right now. "Call me if you want to chat. How's your sergeant getting on? It'd be good to hear from you soon. Love you, bye."

He felt a pang of guilt about not talking to her but he washed it away by downing the contents of his glass. He'd call her tomorrow. It was Saturday tomorrow so he'd have all day to get round to it.

…...................

The news was better the next morning when Laura called. He didn't understand most of what was said but he got the gist of it. Hathaway's something rate was up and that was good. His something else rate was down and that was even better she said. The doctors were considering bringing him round on Monday if everything continued to improve.

Laura had tried to visit James and failed. His father had recognised her from when he arrived at the hospital on the night of shooting. She explained that she wasn't police, she was a doctor and she showed him her hospital I.D. Badge but he was having none of it.

"Git" Was all Lewis had to say in the matter.

"My own fault really, I shouldn't have told him I was a pathologist." she explained.

"Why on earth did you tell him that?" he asked.

"He asked how I knew James?" she replied.

"You could've made something up!"

"Sorry, I thought honesty was the best policy." she said and she heard Lewis sigh loudly with disapproval "At least we're still getting updates. You'll be able to see him when they wake him up. He's bound to ask for you."

"Still gotta passed his dad though. Last thing Jim'll need when he wakes up his dad and his boss having a slanging match in the corridor outside his room."

"You'll think of something." she said.

"Yeah, I suppose so. Anyway, I'll let you get on. I've got to give our Lyn a call. Let her know how I am."

"OK, take care of yourself Robbie, I'll call later, bye."

"Bye."

It started the second he put the phone down. It was just like working on a case. The idea was forming in his mind. Laura said he'd think of something and she was right. He picked up Hathaway's coat from the armchair and fished out the keys. Then he put on his jacket, took out his mobile phone to make a call. He knew she'd be waiting for him to ring.

"Hello Lyn, it's me. Fancy coming down here for a couple of days to keep your old dad company?" He knew she's say yes. His little plan felt right. All the little pieces would just fall into place. He was about to leave the flat when he back to pick up Hathaway's coat. "Right, I need you to do a couple of favours for me, pet."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N **– Sorry for the delay in getting chapter 5 up, sorry again for it being a short one. Spent a whole day arguing with my local council about my next door neighbour. Also, I've added to my profile for those wanting to know a bit about me. Got a lovely pic of my two favourite detectives on it.

…............

**Chapter 5**

Lewis picked up his daughter from the train station late morning on Sunday. He took her out to lunch and gave her the full story of what had happened and what he wanted her to do for him. She agreed to help on the condition that he took her shoe shopping that afternoon as payment, which he did. Lewis couldn't quite believe how much of his money she spent on one pair of shoes. He didn't even know they could cost that much. His late wife never bought shoes that expensive but like any father he was too weak to say no when his daughter said 'Please Daddy'.

She made an attempt to make up for the hit to his credit card later that evening by cooking dinner for the both of them. It was Lewis' first proper meal since the shooting but although his daughter had inherited her mother's enthusiasm in the kitchen she had little of her talent.

Lewis had got fed up waiting for Laura's updates that he'd been calling her all day, almost every hour to check on Hathaway's condition.

"They're definitely waking him up tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yes" Laura replied. She was getting a bit tired of his constant ringing and asking the same questions, over and over "He should be awake by lunchtime."

Lewis hadn't felt this excited and nervous at the same time since his son was born. Back then there was all the joy of new addition to the family and anxiety of how on earth he was going to able to afford another mouth to feed. This time the excitement came from seeing James awake and on the mend and the worry of what Hathaway had remembered. Questions began to flood his mind.

"_How awkward would it be? Would this be another of those things they never talked about? Could they really pretend it never happened? What do I say if he brings it up? Should I bring it up? What does he want? What do I want?" he thought._

He didn't know the answers to any of them especially the last one. Working with Hathaway was great. When he came back from the Caribbean he was dreading the idea of being back in Oxford but James had brought the job back to life for him. He had a reason to get up in the morning. He had fun hanging out with his sergeant. He was happier now than at any other time since his wife had died. Putting that all at risk for another chance of love was a big gamble. He was lonely now but it would be worse if lost the good working relationship with Hathaway and his friendship.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It was just after lunchtime when Lewis and his daughter arrived at the hospital. He'd called ahead from the office to confirm that Hathaway was awake now. Lyn was complaining about how hot she was wearing his winter coat but it was the only thing they could find that would cover up what she was wearing underneath.

"Dad, I'm not sure about all this." she said in the lift up to the floor where Hathaway's ward was.

"Don't worry, it'll work, I've got a good feeling about this." he said and gave her an encouraging squeeze round her shoulders "I know about this sort of thing. Trust me."

"There's no way you'll let me back out of this, is there?"

"Do you want me to pay for your wedding?" He fired back.

"Fine, then." she said and took off the coat.

…...............

Hathaway and his father hadn't spoken for the last ten minutes, which was a relief, Hathaway thought. Aside from the initial, 'Thank goodness, you're awake' part his father had spent the whole time lecturing on his career choice and all the trouble he's caused by getting shot. Hathaway was even more pleased when the tension was broken by the arrival of a nurse.

"Sorry to interrupt but would it be possible for you to go somewhere for half an hour, Mr Hathaway. It's nothing yo worry about. There are just a few things that we need to check over now James is awake."

"Certainly, half an hour?" He father responded.

"If that's alright, yes. I think the canteen downstairs is still serving food" She said helpfully.

"I'll see you in a bit, Dad." James said. His father nodded to him and left. The nurse closed the door behind him and drew the blinds.

"Hi, I'm Lyn." she said cheerfully.

"Hello Lyn" Hathaway replied. He found it a bit strange because no-one else had introduced themselves since he woke up. Also, she wasn't doing anything she just seemed to be standing there looking at him.

"No, I'm Lyn" She said as if Hathaway was supposed to know who she was.

"Sorry, I don't know anyone called Lyn"

"No, but you know my Dad." she said and in clicked in his mind who she was, Lewis' daughter. It was then he noticed her hospital pass had her full name on _and_ the name of a different hospital.

"Is he here?" James asked.

"Yeah, he's just waiting for the coast to clear."

"He's met my father, then?" Hathaway said and Lyn smiled.

The door opened and Lewis walked in. He held out the big coat and Lyn put it back on. He gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, pet" he said to her. He held the door opened for her and look up the corridor to check they'd gotten away with it. "Wait for us outside, I'll be out in a bit."

"Hello, sir" Hathaway said and Lewis sat down on the chair next to the bed. He put the holdall he was carrying down by his feet.

"Nice to see you awake and talking, sergeant."

"What did you bring me?" Hathaway said eyeing the holdall.

"Well, I went to your flat. I found your keys on the back seat of my car, in your coat." Lewis said and opening both the bag and the locker next to the bed to transfer everything into. "Right, a book I found on your coffee table that looks like you're halfway through, stuff for your contact lenses, your I-pod thingy – it's charged up, Lyn helped with that, a few t-shirts and a pair of trousers and your Bible. I also went shopping. You didn't seem to own slippers or a dressing gown so I got them for you. Saves you from getting your feet cold and showing your backside off to everyone when you get up. These hospital gowns don't really provide full coverage and last of all, I got you some ear plugs. You won't need them here in a side room but, trust me, you will when you get on the ward with everyone else snoring, farting and groaning all the time."

"Thanks" Hathaway said. He was a little overwhelmed by Lewis' kindness. " I must have been close to dying for you to do all this for me."

"You don't remember what happened?" Lewis asked and Hathaway shook his head. Lewis expected to feel relieved, which he did a bit but more than that he was disappointed. "It was a bit touch and go for awhile."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to joke about about it. Last thing I remember is arriving at the house, the door being wide open and finding that woman beaten half to death. Is she alright?"

"Yeah, as far as I know. She was in here for a bit but she's gone to Kent to be with her parents. The little lad went there too."

"Her son?" James asked. He didn't remember there being anyone else there.

"The husband was still in the house, he took the boy, we went after them, ended up in a field by a playground, he had a gun, the boy got scared and ran, he pointed the gun at the boy, you pulled him out the way and got shot instead."

"Sounds simple" Hathaway said.

"Well, we should've called for back-up sooner but a violent man, a small child and a firearm? I'd have approached him anyway rather than wait. It was a good call in the end. You saved that boy's life. I'll leave you a copy of my statement. It covers our behinds nicely. If you do remember, make sure you keep to that version of events."

"Yes, sir"

"Don't think you'll be calling me 'sir' for awhile. The Super's assigning me a temporary replacement for you later this week. It took me long enough to house-train you." Lewis joked and Hathaway smirked. "Do you want me to leave your keys here? Your dad can stay in your flat while you're in here."

"You better get yourself a spare cut and bring them in later. I might ask you to go there again." Hathaway replied "Did you meet my Dad?

"Briefly. He gave Innocent a right mouthful, chucked me out and made he clear he didn't want any of 'our lot' anywhere near you. That's why I needed to use Lyn. I think he would've noticed me hanging around in the corridor waiting for him to slip out for a pee."

"Sorry he's been a pain. To be honest, we don't really got on." James said and then yawned loudly "I'm still really tired."

"I'll push off then, I've got to take Lyn back to the train station and make an appearance at the office. I'll pop back later to visit and give you the keys. "

"Thanks for bringing all this stuff in for me."

"No problem. Gave me something to do while I was waiting for news. I'll be back in a bit." Lewis said.

"Yeah, thanks for coming"

"For pity's sake, Jim, stop thanking me and just go to sleep."

As he came out the room he saw Hathaway's father waking towards him. He looked like he was ready to charge at him and start an argument. Lewis put his arm round Lyn's shoulders and calmly walked straight passed him before he could say a word. They both looked back to see him standing there opened mouthed. He recognised Lyn as the nurse who had asked him to leave and clenched his fist. Lewis just grinned as him and his daughter walked away.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N **- Sorry for delay again. I was recovering from sedation after a dental appointment.

**Chapter 7**

Hathaway was moved from the High Dependency Ward later that week to a normal ward. It meant he could have more visitors. Doc Hobson came by most days, Innocent and some of his other colleagues had dropped by a few times as well but his Dad and Lewis were there at his bedside everyday.

Without speaking to one another the two of them had seemed to come to an arrangement where Hathaway's dad left the last two hours of visiting time for Lewis to come in. James wondered if they ever passed each other in the corridors but if they did, nothing was ever said about it.

Lewis had been doing his best to keep his sergeant informed of the goings on at the office including all the gossip. He'd also been going to library for Hathaway to get him books to keep himself occupied. Hathaway had found that reading and the ear plugs Lewis had got him were the best of stopping others on the ward from talking to him.

"Right, I'll take this lot back for you." Lewis said as he put the books Hathaway had read in to a backpack he'd brought with him. "What do you want me to get next?"

"Here you go " James replied and handed him a piece of paper with a long list on it.

"Bloody Hell, Jim, it'd be easier for me to wheel you down there than lug that lot up here"

"Well, my Dad hardly says a word while he's here all day and apart from when you and the Doc come by, I haven't got anything else to do but read." Hathaway said and sighed "You don't need to get them all, I might be out of here soon anyway."

"That's good" Lewis said but Hathaway didn't show much enthusiasm "Would you rather stay here?"

"Not particularly. I've watched too many people come in the ward and leave, either to go home or under a white sheet but they won't let me out unless I've got someone at home to look after me. My Dad instantly volunteered so it's hardly going to a barrel of laughs sharing my one bedroomed flat him telling me the 101 ways I've messed up my life over and over. Not to mention the constant complaining about his bad back from sleeping on my sofa every night."

"I'll still come by everyday. I'm sure Laura will as well. We're nor going to abandon you." Lewis said but this didn't seem to make Hathaway feel any better. "Give him a chance, just a few days, he's your Dad when all's said and done. If things don't work out you can come stay with me. I've got a spare room. Even if it's just for the odd night. It'll give you and him some breathing space away from one another and you're Dad can get a good night's kip in a proper bed for a change. That'll help improve his mood."

"You'd do that for me?" Hathaway asked.

"Yeah, on one condition, mind you." Lewis replied

"What?"

"That you don't play any of that weird music you 're into while I'm around. "Lewis said and Hathaway smiled and shook his head. "Right, now that's sorted I best be off. Sorry for not staying longer tonight but I've got my son coming round to watch the footie."

"I thought he was in Australia?"

"He came home about a month ago. He's got this mate who does all that property development stuff wants him to do all his plumbing jobs for him, maybe a bit of painting and decorating as well." Lewis said as he stood up and slung the backpack over his shoulder. "My lad reckons it could be a nice little earner while he saves up to start his own business."

"Plumbing? I didn't know you son was a plumber"

"Like his Grandad. I always thought my Dad would have liked it for me to go into plumbing, take on the family trade but it turns out I can't change a washer without flooding the whole room. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you then." Hathaway replied and Lewis left.

Hathaway stared out the window. Staying in hospital was really starting to wear him down. He hated it when Lewis left in the evenings especially tonight with him leaving earlier than normal. Still, he had something new to occupy his mind. The thought of staying at Lewis' place. It was just a fantasy, he knew that. Harmless fantasies of what it could be like, alone with him, saying all those things James longed to tell him and what that first kiss would feel like.

His mind began to run away with the possibilities until he was interrupted by the arrival of another visitor. Dr Hobson greeted him with a peck on the cheek and then she sat down on the chair next to the bed.

"Word is they're releasing you from captivity." she said "I bumped into Robbie on his way out. He told me."

"Yeah, he's even offered to let me stay at his place if I need a safe haven away from my father."

"No matter how many times I ask, you're never going to tell me what's going on with your dad, are you?" she asked

"Nope" he replied.

"Spoilsport. I spend my days hanging around with corpses. I need other peoples' real, live human experiences to keep me sane."

"You mean gossip."

"Pretty much" she agreed "It is nice of Robbie to do that for you though."

"I have to admit to feeling a little bit guilty about taking him up on the offer though. He's already done so much for me since I've been in here."

"You'd do the same for him, I'm sure, if it was the other way round. Besides, he was really worried about you. That night, while you were in surgery he hardly said a word. He just sat there staring at your blood on his shirt." she said and gently patted his hand. "He thought you were going to die. You sort of gave him the impression that you'd lost the will to hang on, yourself. It was something you said to him before the ambulance came."

"What did I say?" James asked.

"I don't know. Robbie wouldn't say. The point I'm making though is because you two aren't great at talking about the touchy-feely stuff, he's trying to show you how much he cares. That night he said you were his best friend and that he might never get a chance to tell you that. He had tears in his eyes." Laura said and she saw Hathaway swallow a lump in his throat. "Please James, don't you start crying, you'll set me off."

"I'm just, I don't know, a bit overwhelmed I suppose" he said and then paused for awhile. "He's probably the best friend I've ever had too. I certainly trust him more than I do anyone else."

"You're impossible, the pair of you. I'd pay for a session with a therapist myself if i thought for a second you two would actually have a conversation about this kind of stuff. And don't try giving me the 'We don't talk about that sort of thing' bollocks Robbie said. You just said yourself that you trust him more than anyone, well, just tell him."

"It's easy for you to say. He's still my boss at the end the day." James said.

"Do you think he'd respect you any less if you confided in him? That he'd betray your confidence? He won't, trust me. I've known Robbie Lewis a long time, before Val died he wasn't this closed down. He was quite a cheery so-and-so back then. It was Morse who was the grumpy sod. I honestly think you're the only one he'll ever open up to. I've tried so many times myself and I haven't got anywhere."

"Really, I thought you two were quite close. I even thought that you and him would-"

"No, we tried but no." Laura interrupted "There is only one woman that he'll ever love and she's gone."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Things were just as bad as Hathaway had imagined when he got home. Away from the prying eyes and keen ears of nurses and other patients, his father stepped up his campaign of pressure to make him leave the police force. They argued constantly about everything from what to eat or lunch to when James was going to settle down and get married. It was driving him insane. At least he's won the fight about smoking indoors, he did own the flat, after all.

The only respite was when Laura Hobson or Lewis came to visit. His dad would leave whenever his friends came round to see him. If Lewis stayed late he would return but would make his presence felt and he made plain, that in his view, it was time for Lewis to leave. Hathaway and Lewis had turned it into a game. How long can they pretend they hadn't noticed? The record was over an hour but by that point Mr Hathaway looked fit to explode.

Lewis wasn't enjoying work as much as he normally did. The days seemed longer without his sergeant. There wasn't anything seriously wrong with Hathaway's temporary replacement, Sgt. Paul Renton but he wasn't _his_ sergeant. He didn't do things the same way and he wasn't as frustratingly clever as Hathaway. Lewis liked to think of James as 'pleasantly annoying'. He knew so much about everything that when Lewis knew something he didn't, it felt like a major victory. It was one of those things that made their partnership so special.

Lewis and Renton had just returned to the office. Renton was using Hathaway's desk but was under strict orders not to mess it up. James was very particular about where everything was kept on and in his desk and Lewis made sure that Renton stuck to the rules.

"That was easy" Renton said as they sat down "Two fires, one suspect, full confession – job done."

"Hmm" Lewis said.

"C'mon, it was open and shut"

"I know." Lewis replied "I just prefer to work a case I can seek my teeth into."

"A result is result in my book. Innocent seemed happy enough."

"_Superintendent _Innocent" Lewis corrected. It wasn't the sort of thing that normally bothered him but Renton wasn't in the habit of calling him 'sir' either. He was about to launch into a lecture when the phone on his desk rang. He answered it. "Lewis"

"Hello sir" said Hathaway on the other end of the line. Lewis could always rely on Jim to cheer him up. "I'm going mad here."

"What's up?"

"I found my warrant card in the bin. I may have to hand it to you for safe-keeping. It's getting ridiculous." Hathaway explained "i just called to ask what time you'll be coming round. Caught your arsonist yet?"

"Yeah. Angry ex-husband torching the new fella's business and garage holding his collection of classic motorbikes." Lewis said looked at his watch. I'll be round about seven. I can't stay long I'm meeting my son for a drink."

"Oh"

"You need to get out of there?" Lewis said sensing Hathaway's disappointment.

"Yeah, I was going to ask but if you-"

"No problem. I'll cancel. Now he's home I can see him whenever I like. I'll pick you up at seven, shall I?"

"Thank you. I'll let you get back to work now." James said.

"Enjoy doing bugger all for rest of the afternoon." Lewis said knowing that after his dad, boredom was Hathaway's main complaint.

"It's so relaxing." Hathaway said sarcastically. "I'll see you at seven."

…...............

Hathaway was just waking up from an afternoon nap. He hadn't thought he was al that tired when he laid down earlier. He'd only gone into the bedroom to make his Dad leave him alone for awhile. It was moments like these, just as he was coming round, that he'd been getting the flashbacks from the shooting but that had all they'd been so far, flashes. Like a still photograph of a particular moment. It was all out of context.

He rubbed his eyes to help him wake up but all of a sudden he seemed to be transported back to the park. It wasn't just a flash this time, he was remembering it, he was reliving it. The thud as he fell to the ground and the warmth of his own blood as it poured onto his skin. He heard Lewis shouting then appear at his side. He felt heavy and weak, the ground seemed to want to swallow him up. He was fading. The expression on Lewis' face broke his heart to see. Hathaway felt helpless and scared. He looked up at Lewis, he thought, for the last time...


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N** – Swearing gets a little bit worse in this one. Hope it doesn't offend.

**Chapter 9**

Lewis saw Hathaway standing on the pavement out side his flat, fag in hand and an overnight bag by his feet, as soon as he drove into the road. He pulled up and Hathaway flicked his cigarette into a nearby drain before getting into the car. Hathaway didn't say much on the journey. Lewis put it down to the fact that James had probably been arguing with his dad again but after an hour or so at Lewis' place Hathaway remained quiet. Lewis began to feel uncomfortable.

They were sat next to each other on the sofa watching a documentary on the television about the history of the British Museum. Lewis had a feeling that neither of them was really paying attention to it though.

"Did you mean it?" lewis asked and turned the TV to standby to get Hathaway's attention.

"What?" Hathaway replied acting puzzled.

"What you said to me"

"I don't know wha-"

"Don't piss me about Jim!" Lewis interrupted and Hathaway gulped. "You've gone all quiet on me. You could cut the air in here with a knife. The only reason I can think of for you acting like this is that you've remembered."

"Don't do this" James pleaded and covered his face with his hands.

"Did you mean it?" Lewis asked again but there was no answer. He reached out and placed his hand on Hathaway's shoulder but the younger man shrugged it away and sat further forward on the sofa to create some distance between them. "James?"

"Yes" James said through his hands. He daren't remove them from his face. He daren't look at Lewis.

"I think it's still your turn to say something" Lewis said. There was a paused and Hathaway took a deep breath through his nose. He removed his hands and turned to face Lewis. He looked angry.

"Yes, I love you. No, I don't want to talk about it. Just leave it. Please, just don't." He said firmly and sat back into the sofa. He looked out the window, determined not to meet Lewis' gaze.

They sat in silence for a minute or so. Lewis hadn't expected this reaction. He hadn't meant to make James this angry. It was decision time for Lewis. He got up and poured them both a drink. Brandy for himself and whisky for Hathaway. He put the drinks down on the coffee table in front of them and sat down.

Hathaway mumbled thanks and Lewis smiled to himself. James may be angry but he never forgot his manners. James reached for his drink and downed it in one. Lewis cradled his glass and took a sip from his. Simply having the drink in his hand gave him the courage to ask.

"Aren't you going to ask me out me out then?"

"This isn't really something I want you to joke about. It isn't fucking funny." James said knowing that swearing like that, which he rarely did, would emphasise his point. "Your good natured humour isn't going to work this time."

"I wasn't trying to make a joke of this." Lewis said and Hathaway shook his head. "I was going to say yes, by the way. If you'd asked me out. I would have said yes."

Hathaway stared at Lewis. He looked serious but Hathaway knew that was impossible. Lewis waited and took another sip of his drink, keeping his eyes fixed on James.

"You were going to say yes?" Hathaway asked and Lewis nodded "And you're not joking?"

"I'm not pulling your leg." Lewis responded. Hathaway still didn't quite believe him. He got up from his seat and poured himself another whisky. He didn't retake his seat and instead stood in front of Lewis, checking for signs that his boss wasn't being truthful. "Do I have to kiss you to make you believe me? It's just that's not very romantic, that's all."

"I wasn't ever expecting this to happen." Hathaway said. He was trying to buy himself some time. "I only said it because I thought I was dying."

"I'd guessed that much, it's probably why I'm a detective, the ability to work things out." Lewis joked and Hathaway smiled. "Do you want a moment to get over the shock?"

The tension between them faded when Lewis said that. Hathaway sat down again. This time a little closer to Lewis. He toyed with the idea of reaching out to hold Lewis hand but decided against it.

"What do I call you?" James asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think 'sir' is really appropriate for this." Hathaway explained.

"Robbie, I suppose."

"I can't. It doesn't sound right. It doesn't fit with my style of enunciation." James said.

"You're too bloody posh, you mean? I don't mind being called Robert. Just stay away from 'Bob'. I hate being called Bob."

"Fine, Robert, would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow evening?" James asked.

"Yeah, alright." Lewis replied. "Where you taking me?"

"I hadn't thought that far ahead. Thinking about it, I can't drive yet so I can't take you anywhere. I could cook for you, back at the flat."

"You any good at cooking?"

"I'm considerably more advanced than reading the instructions on the packet before putting it in the microwave, which is what counts as cooking in your book." James said and Lewis chuckled. "Dad should be out of the way for a few hours. He doesn't like it when you come to visit."

"Where does he go? Have you asked him?"

"No. I don't care as long he's not under my feet."

"What is the problem between you two, anyway?" Lewis asked.

"I don't think he is my dad. That's the crux of it all, I suppose."

"Really? You look alike." Lewis said.

"I also look remarkably like his brother, Thomas. He's priest in Wiltshire." James explained. "Dad never liked me being so fervently Catholic. He hated it when I went into the seminary."

"What's his problem with you being a copper, then?" Lewis asked.

"Who knows? It isn't about getting shot. I just don't think he like me very much, maybe being horrible is just a habit now. I don't know. We've never got on but it got so much worse after Mum died. I'm passed the point of caring now. I wish Innocent hadn't called him. I shouldn't have put his number down as my emergency contact."

"Terrible situation to get into with the man who raised you. Even if he's not your biological dad." Lewis said.

"Did he raise me? I was packed off to boarding school at the earliest opportunity." James said. "You've been more of a father figure to me than he has."

"Not sure you should be saying stuff like that ten minutes after asking me out." Lewis said jokingly. "I do get what you mean though."

"You're not going to ask about my Mum?"

"Nope. Save it for another time, shall we? Actually, what I was going to do was get myself another drink, put a film on, put my arm around you and settle in for a nice evening."

"That's sounds much better than dredging through my dysfunctional upbringing."

"Thought it might" Lewis said.


End file.
